Sermon for September 8th, 2013 - Revision history

Iraneal: 11 revisions

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11 revisions

Iraneal at 06:59, 8 September 2013

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Iraneal at 21:09, 7 September 2013

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 For mature adults, whose parents are entering into the twilight of life, the sad tendency (especially in our geographically dispersed culture) is to neglect one's parents.  To honor them in this stage means to care for them, with your time, your resources, and most importantly your love.  This is an ironic time of reversal--when children feed their parents, bathe them, help them to walk, and listen patiently as they repeat themselves over and over again.  The parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent...much as Jesus said that the first would become last and the last would become first in God's kingdom.  When you were newly arrived in this world, you were closer to God then.  Now they in turn are drawing closer to God.  When your parents reach this stage, remember your bellybutton.  You are their lifeline now; honor them, and be connected to them.
-The fifth commandment is a commandment with a promise: Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."  Long life is good, and I appreciate that promise.  But there's another promise that comes from honoring your parents--it's found in the book of Proverbs, and it's one I'd like to close with today.
+The fifth commandment is a commandment with a promise: Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."  Long life is good, and I appreciate that promise.  But there's another promise that comes from honoring your parents--it's found in the book of Proverbs, and it's the passage I'd like to close with today.
-My own mother is coming to town later this week, and I look forward to seeing her, to talking with her, and asking for her advice.  But my father, as many of you know, passed away 15 years ago, just two weeks after I graduated from college.  He was a good father; he raised me well and taught me many things.  But I didn't have much opportunity as a young man to seek out his advice and wisdom.  I regret that I won't be able to hold his hand and help him walk into the twilight of his elderly years.  But even now, I can honor him--in fact, by standing here today, I hope I'm doing exactly that.
+My own mother is coming to town later this week, and I look forward to seeing her, to talking with her, and asking for her advice.  But my father, as many of you know, passed away 15 years ago, just two weeks after I graduated from college.  He was a good father; he raised me well and taught me many things.  I didn't have much opportunity as a young man to seek out his advice and wisdom.  I regret that I won't be able to hold his hand and help him walk into the twilight of his elderly years.  But even now, I can still honor him--in fact, by standing here today, I hope I'm doing exactly that.
-If your parents are still with you, I hope Proverbs 6 can offer you direction as you honor them at each stage of your life, and theirs.  If your parents, are already gone, I hope Proverbs 6 offers you the same comfort and promise it does to me.
+If your parents are still with you, I hope Proverbs 6 can offer you hope and direction as you honor them at each stage of your life, and theirs.  If your parents are already gone, I hope Proverbs 6 offers you the same comfort and promise it does to me, as you continue to honor your parents through your own life.
-Proverbs 6:20-22
+Proverbs 6:20-22 - My child, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 21 Bind them upon your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light.
-My child, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 21 Bind them upon your heart always; tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.

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 Often when we hear the fifth commandment, we think it's directed primarily at children.  In Ephesians, the Apostle Paul does give a version of this commandment directed to children: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord" (our kids did a great job of singing it, too!).  But the verse in Deuteronomy is not specific, and in fact (like the other commandments) is addressed to all the people of Israel who have gathered to hear Moses speak to them on behalf of the Lord.  His audience would likely have included children, adults with children, adults with no children, and even adults whose parents had already passed away.  And yet all are asked to honor their fathers and mothers.
-So what does that look like?  What does it mean to honor your father and mother?  For that matter, what is "honor?"  I think if you ask ten different people, you'd get ten different answers.  Honor means different things to different people, and a sign of honor in one culture is often an insult in another culture.  Honor is not a monolithic, universal concept.  It's personal...it's relational.  To know what might honor or dishonor someone...you have to get to know that person.  You have to develop a relationship.
+So what does that look like?  What does it mean to honor your father and mother?  For that matter, what is "honor?"  I think if you ask ten different people, you'd get ten different answers.  Honor means different things to different people, and a sign of honor in one culture is often a sign of insult in another culture.  Honor is not a monolithic, universal concept.  It's personal...it's relational.  To know what might honor or dishonor someone...you have to get to know that person.  You have to develop a relationship.
--Stages of "dishonoring" parents:  Child=confront/defy. Adolescent=Rebel. Young Adult=dismiss/ignore. (Mark Twain, amazed at how much his father learned in such a short period of time).  Mature Adults=neglect.
+As young children, when we are first forming our own individual identities, pushing the limits in order to discover who we are, our tendency is to be defiant toward our parents.  The word "No" is almost always first directed at a parent, and by early adolescence, defiant, rebellious behavior toward parents is so commonplace we make jokes about it.  I think this is why the Apostle Paul, specifically says to children, "obey your parents."  At this stage, the need for the child is to begin to forge his or her own identity independent from the parent.  But the need for the parent at this stage is obedience...and finding the careful balance between those two needs has filled entire libraries with books.
--Parents: Be the kind of parents your children can honor.
+In late adolescence and early adulthood, once independence has been achieved, the tendency is to dismiss or ignore one's parents.  Mark Twain talks about being embarrassed as a young man about how little his father knew about anything.  And then as Twain moved from his 20s into his 30s, he describes his amazement at how much his father learned in such a short period of time. In young adulthood, to honor our parents is to listen to them, to remember in the midst of our busy lives all they have taught us, all the values they worked to instill in us, to seek out their advice and wisdom in all things.
-Proverbs 6:20-22
+But to those young adults, a warning for you as well: Be forgiving. It's sometimes hard for your parents to make that transition after 21 years of hands-on parenting.  If they cross that line, even if you don't obey, you still have to do it in a way that shows honor and respect.  And they'll be less likely to cross the line if you are seeking them out, listening to their advice, and living in the ways they taught you.
-My child, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 21 Bind them upon your heart always; tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.
-Proverbs 23:22-25
+While we're on the subject of crossing the line, what about "bad" parents?  Parents who do horrible things, whose actions are destructive to their children and to themselves.  Are we still supposed to honor them?  The short answer is yes...but in cases like these, sometimes honoring your parents means honoring what they should have been.  It means forgiving, at a distance and with proper boundaries if necessary, and it means taking care to pass on to your own children a different example, humbly, and respectfully, still grateful for the life your parents gave you, if not the way in which theirs was lived.
-Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. 23 Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. 24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. 25 Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.
-Not about RULES, about RELATIONSHIPS
+The fifth commandment is a commandment with a promise: Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."  Long life is good, and I appreciate that promise.  But there's another promise that comes from honoring your parents--it's found in the book of Proverbs, and it's one I'd like to close with today.
-)The Ten Commandments are a gift; God's Word among us; a representation of who God is, to help us discover who we are and who we can become.
-)The Ten Commandments are a treaty, a covenant between God and God's people
+My own mother is coming to town later this week, and I look forward to seeing her, to talking with her, and asking for her advice.  But my father, as many of you know, passed away 15 years ago, just two weeks after I graduated from college.  He was a good father; he raised me well and taught me many things.  But I didn't have much opportunity as a young man to seek out his advice and wisdom.  I regret that I won't be able to hold his hand and help him walk into the twilight of his elderly years.  But even now, I can honor him--in fact, by standing here today, I hope I'm doing exactly that.
-)The Ten Commandments are a call to turn away from the Empires and powers of the day and follow God into an unknown future, a new kind of Kingdom, a new kind of life.

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 Ok. If the second half of the commandments are about how we relate to each other, then it makes sense to start with our very first relationships.  Remember your bellybutton.  Your relationship with your parents, your interactions with them, began even before you were born.  In your earliest years, your family was your first school, the safe place where you first learned how to relate to other people--and it's a good thing, too:  Imagine if you were introduced to someone today for the first time, and this person immediately burst into tears screaming, peed all over you, and then fell asleep.  Thank God for parents who love us and are patient with us:  Learning how to relate to other people takes time, and lots of practice.
-Often when we hear the fifth commandment, we think it's directed primarily at children.  In Ephesians, the Apostle Paul does give a version of this commandment directed to children: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord" (our kids did a great job of singing it, too!).  But the verse in Deuteronomy is not specific, and in fact (like the other commandments) is addressed to all the people of Israel who have gathered to hear Moses speak to them on behalf of the Lord.  His audience would likely have included children, adults with children, adults with no children, and even adults whose parents had already passed away.  And yet all are commanded to honor their fathers and mothers.
+Often when we hear the fifth commandment, we think it's directed primarily at children.  In Ephesians, the Apostle Paul does give a version of this commandment directed to children: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord" (our kids did a great job of singing it, too!).  But the verse in Deuteronomy is not specific, and in fact (like the other commandments) is addressed to all the people of Israel who have gathered to hear Moses speak to them on behalf of the Lord.  His audience would likely have included children, adults with children, adults with no children, and even adults whose parents had already passed away.  And yet all are asked to honor their fathers and mothers.
 -Stages of "dishonoring" parents:  Child=confront/defy. Adolescent=Rebel. Young Adult=dismiss/ignore. (Mark Twain, amazed at how much his father learned in such a short period of time).  Mature Adults=neglect.
 -Parents: Be the kind of parents your children can honor.

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:01, 8 September 2013
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	No on the other side--the commandments that teach us how to relate to each other--we also begin with two positive commandments, from which all the others, the negative commandments, flow: Honor the Sabbath (your restfulness) and Honor your parents. And if we really, really focused on just these two things--making sure everyone had adequate rest from work and stress, and asking ourselves in every situation "would what I'm about to do bring honor or shame to my parents?"--If we did those two things, I believe there would be no killing, no stealing, no adultery, no lying, and no coveting.		No on the other side--the commandments that teach us how to relate to each other--we also begin with two positive commandments, from which all the others, the negative commandments, flow: Honor the Sabbath (your restfulness) and Honor your parents. And if we really, really focused on just these two things--making sure everyone had adequate rest from work and stress, and asking ourselves in every situation "would what I'm about to do bring honor or shame to my parents?"--If we did those two things, I believe there would be no killing, no stealing, no adultery, no lying, and no coveting.

−	Taken in this light, the fifth commandment is supremely important: We all have parents, and all the remaining commandments ~~are built~~ upon this one.	+	Taken in this light, the fifth commandment is supremely important: We all have parents, and all the remaining commandments derive from and build upon this one.
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		+	Ok. If the second half of the commandments are about how we relate to each other, then it makes sense to start with our very first relationships. Remember your bellybutton. Your relationship with your parents, your interactions with them, began even before you were born. In your earliest years, your family was your first school, the safe place where you first learned how to relate to other people--and it's a good thing, too: Imagine if you were introduced to someone today for the first time, and this person immediately burst into tears screaming, peed all over you, and then fell asleep. Thank God for parents who love us and are patient with us: Learning how to relate to other people takes time, and lots of practice.
		+
		+	Often when we hear the fifth commandment, we think it's directed primarily at children. In Ephesians, the Apostle Paul does give a version of this commandment directed to children: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord" (our kids did a great job of singing it, too!). But the verse in Deuteronomy is not specific, and in fact (like the other commandments) is addressed to all the people of Israel who have gathered to hear Moses speak to them on behalf of the Lord. His audience would likely have included children, adults with children, adults with no children, and even adults whose parents had already passed away. And yet all are commanded to honor their fathers and mothers.
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		+

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 Before we jump into it, however, we are now halfway through the commandments; halfway through our sermon series on Ten Laws, One Love: Understanding God's commandments through the light of God's love.  Just to review, we've talked about how the Ten Commandments--despite what we call them in English--were never intended to be "commandments" or laws.  In Hebrew they are the "Ten Words" or ten sayings.  The ten commandments are not about rules--they are about relationships.  The first three express God's ideal for our relationship with him, and the next seven express God's ideal for our relationships with each other.  Jesus summarizes them by saying "Love God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself."
-Not about RULES, about RELATIONSHIPS
+Taken in this light, the fifth commandment is supremely important:  We all have parents, and all the remaining commandments are built upon this one.
-)The Ten Commandments are a gift; God's Word among us; a representation of who God is, to help us discover who we are and who we can become.
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 -Gender equality: Honor due to parents is equal, no greater weight given to one over other. Leviticus 19:3 puts mom first, dad second.
 -Parent/child relationship is how we learn to relate to other people. It's where relationships begin. Honor everyone.
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 Proverbs 23:22-25
 Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. 23 Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. 24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. 25 Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.

← Older revision	Revision as of 01:29, 14 October 2013
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 What constitutes "honour?" One must provide them with food and drink and clothing. One should bring them home and take them out, and provide them with all their needs cheerfully.
 — Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:7
--Diving the commandments:  Positive commandments (2) vs. negative commandments (8) --
+-Dividing the commandments:  Positive commandments (2) vs. negative commandments (8) --
 Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai said that to honor your father and mother is "the most difficult" of all the commandments (Techuma, Ekev 2).  There is no limit to the honor that is due them, and often obedience to this commandment is taxing.
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 -who has a bellybutton? You were once connected physically to a parent.
 -Intended for adults.
 -Parents: Be the kind of parents your children can honor.