Sermon for December 13th, 2015 - Revision history

Iraneal at 10:36, 13 December 2015

2015-12-13T10:36:48Z

Iraneal at 08:58, 13 December 2015

2015-12-13T08:58:31Z

Iraneal at 08:41, 13 December 2015

2015-12-13T08:41:14Z

Iraneal at 08:22, 13 December 2015

2015-12-13T08:22:43Z

Iraneal at 06:37, 13 December 2015

2015-12-13T06:37:59Z

Iraneal at 06:35, 13 December 2015

2015-12-13T06:35:39Z

Iraneal at 06:26, 13 December 2015

2015-12-13T06:26:07Z

Iraneal at 05:42, 13 December 2015

2015-12-13T05:42:14Z

Iraneal at 18:22, 12 December 2015

2015-12-12T18:22:08Z

Iraneal at 18:13, 12 December 2015

2015-12-12T18:13:57Z

@@ Line 8: / Line 8: @@
   I said the cow, all white and red
-Ok, people. First of all, let's get a few things straight. I heard your song. It's nice and all; the kids are cute. But I am NOT a cow. That is udderly false.  I mean, seriously... you see any udders here? Didn't think so.
+Ok, people. First of all, let's get a few things straight. I heard your song. It's nice and all; the kids are cute. But I am NOT--never have been and never will be--a cow. That's just udderly false.  I mean, seriously... you see any udders here? Didn't think so.
 I am an ox. A Bovine.  A steer.  A bullocks.  Or, if you're into scientific classifications: Animalia Chordata Mammalia Theria Eutheria Artiodactyla Bovidae Bovinae Bos taurus taurus.  Just don't call me a cow, ok?
@@ Line 30: / Line 30: @@
 So the governor had his census, and the people came to Bethlehem.  Most came by foot, a few rode on their animals.  We had extra company in the stable, but nothing compared to all the racket inside the inn.  That is...until the donkey showed up. I told you donkeys were trouble, didn't I?
-The donkey brought the carpenter, and the carpenter brought the girl.  Someone forgot to explain to them the difference between an inn and a stable, apparently. I heard them say something about "no room at the inn" but of course there's always room at the inn...for the right price.  Now if they had brought a few heifers instead of that donkey--well, 50 cents and a donkey might buy you a cup of coffee here in Bethlehem, especially if you hid the donkey around the corner.
+The donkey brought the carpenter, and the carpenter brought the girl.  Someone forgot to explain to those two the difference between an inn and a stable, apparently. I heard them say something about "no room at the inn" but of course there's always room at the inn...for the right price.  Now if they had brought a few heifers instead of that donkey--well, 50 cents and a donkey might buy you a cup of coffee here in Bethlehem, especially if you hid the donkey around the corner.
 It was obvious that the carpenter was poor.  And it was obvious that the girl was pregnant.  And it was REALLY obvious that no one was getting any sleep in the stable that night.  But at least one of us was going to get a good supper [starts to eat hay].
@@ Line 40: / Line 40: @@
 You know that song about "the cattle are lowing, the baby awakes?"  Yeah, I didn't wake the baby.  Most likely it was the 500-member choir of singing angels that did the trick.  They did't knock either.  A few nights later, it was the shepherds, shouting and singing, and shouting and dancing, and shouting, and praising God.  They called the baby Emmanuel--God with us.  One shepherd gave up his sheep for the baby.  The sheep gave up his wool.  For what it's worth, wool and hay don't exactly complement each other [spits out hay].
-A few weeks later, came the kings on their camels.  Rich men, who owned much.  They gave the baby gold and precious spices, a sign of their great wealth.  They gave all these things...willingly.  They knelt before him at the manger, they worshipped him, and they were gone. [chews more hay]
+A few weeks later, came the kings on their camels.  Rich men, who owned much.  They gave the baby gold and precious spices, a sign of their great wealth.  They gave all these things...willingly.  They knelt before him at the manger, and they were gone. [chews more hay]
 I've been thinking about that golden calf again.  I think I know why the people gave up their gold.  They wanted a god they could see, and touch.
-Of course, it didn't work out so well for them.  When Moses came back again, he took the golden calf and ground it into powder.  It was the most expensive ground beef in all history.  Then he scattered the powder on the water and made the people drink it.  You know what kind of beverage that was?  Decalfinated!  I'm here all night, people.
+Of course, it didn't work out so well for them.  When Moses came back again, he took the golden calf and ground it into powder.  It was the most expensive ground beef in all history.  Then he scattered the powder on the water and made the people drink it.  You know what kind of beverage that was?  De-calf-inated!  That's right. I'm here all night, folks.  No, seriously...I'm here...all night.
-The people wanted a god they could see and touch.  They wanted an Emmanuel--god who is with us.
+The people gave up their gold because they wanted a god they could see and touch.  A god who is with us.  They wanted Emmanuel.

@@ Line 38: / Line 38: @@
 When the baby was born, I gave up my manger and my hay.  What else was I supposed to do? It's not like I could have assembled a pack-n-play with these cloven hooves!  The girl held her baby for a long time, and so did the carpenter...but they were tired.  I was tired. And I wasn't about to let the donkey look after the little guy. He was born in MY stable, after all.  So we laid him in the manger on a bed of hay.
-You know that song about "the cattle are lowing, the baby awakes?"  Yeah, I didn't wake the baby.  Most likely it was the 500-member choir of singing angels that did the trick.  They did't knock either.  A few nights later, it was the shepherds, shouting and singing, and shouting and dancing, and shouting, and praising God.  One shepherd gave up his sheep for the baby.  The sheep gave up his wool.  For what it's worth, wool and hay don't exactly complement each other [spits out hay].
+You know that song about "the cattle are lowing, the baby awakes?"  Yeah, I didn't wake the baby.  Most likely it was the 500-member choir of singing angels that did the trick.  They did't knock either.  A few nights later, it was the shepherds, shouting and singing, and shouting and dancing, and shouting, and praising God.  They called the baby Emmanuel--God with us.  One shepherd gave up his sheep for the baby.  The sheep gave up his wool.  For what it's worth, wool and hay don't exactly complement each other [spits out hay].
-A few weeks later, came the kings on their camels.  Rich men, who owned much.  They gave the baby gold and precious spices, a sign of their great wealth.  They gave these things willingly.  They
+A few weeks later, came the kings on their camels.  Rich men, who owned much.  They gave the baby gold and precious spices, a sign of their great wealth.  They gave all these things...willingly.  They knelt before him at the manger, they worshipped him, and they were gone. [chews more hay]

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:41, 13 December 2015
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	I've been thinking about that golden calf. The people brought their jewelry to the high priest, to make the calf, and they gave it to him. Willingly! It doesn't make sense. The part about the calf, that's understandable. But the measure of a man is what he owns. And men don't give up their gold, any more than an ox gives up his manger or his hay.		I've been thinking about that golden calf. The people brought their jewelry to the high priest, to make the calf, and they gave it to him. Willingly! It doesn't make sense. The part about the calf, that's understandable. But the measure of a man is what he owns. And men don't give up their gold, any more than an ox gives up his manger or his hay.

−	When the baby was born, I gave up my manger and my hay. What else was I supposed to do? It's not like I could have assembled a pack-n-play with these cloven hooves! The girl held her baby for a long time, and so did the carpenter...but they were tired. I was tired. And I wasn't about to let the donkey look after	+	When the baby was born, I gave up my manger and my hay. What else was I supposed to do? It's not like I could have assembled a pack-n-play with these cloven hooves! The girl held her baby for a long time, and so did the carpenter...but they were tired. I was tired. And I wasn't about to let the donkey look after the little guy. He was born in MY stable, after all. So we laid him in the manger on a bed of hay.
		+
		+	You know that song about "the cattle are lowing, the baby awakes?" Yeah, I didn't wake the baby. Most likely it was the 500-member choir of singing angels that did the trick. They did't knock either. A few nights later, it was the shepherds, shouting and singing, and shouting and dancing, and shouting, and praising God. One shepherd gave up his sheep for the baby. The sheep gave up his wool. For what it's worth, wool and hay don't exactly complement each other [spits out hay].
		+
		+	A few weeks later, came the kings on their camels. Rich men, who owned much. They gave the baby gold and precious spices, a sign of their great wealth. They gave these things willingly. They

@@ Line 12: / Line 12: @@
 I am an ox. A Bovine.  A steer.  A bullocks.  Or, if you're into scientific classifications: Animalia Chordata Mammalia Theria Eutheria Artiodactyla Bovidae Bovinae Bos taurus taurus.  Just don't call me a cow, ok?
-But the song is right about a few things.  This IS my manger. And you are in MY stable. You're welcome. Come in. Sit down. Have a drink. Thanks for knocking. What's that?  You didn't knock? Oh don't worry...no one knocks anymore.  It appears my stable is quite the place to be, these days. We've got sheep, donkeys camels, shepherds, carpenters, angels, wise men, kings, and big bright star overhead that screams, "Come on over!" halfway across the continent.
+But the song is right about a few things.  This IS my manger. And you are in MY stable. You're welcome. Come in. Sit down. Have a drink. Thanks for knocking. What's that?  You didn't knock? Oh don't worry...no one knocks anymore.  It appears my stable is quite the place to be, these days. We've got sheep, donkeys camels, shepherds, carpenters, angels, wise men, kings, and a big bright star overhead that screams, "Come on over!" halfway across the continent.
-But it wasn't always like this.  It used to be a nice, warm, quiet stable--just me, my manger, my hay; those two love birds up there in the rafters; from time to time, maybe a horse passing through.  I like horses.  They're quiet.  They keep to themselves, unlike...donkeys.  Donkeys move in, and there goes the neighborhood.
+But it wasn't always like this.  It used to be a nice, warm, quiet stable--just me, my manger, my hay; those two love birds up there in the rafters; from time to time, maybe a horse passing through.  I like horses.  They're quiet.  They keep to themselves, unlike...donkeys.  Donkeys move in, and there goes the whole neighborhood.
-Personally, I blame the governor. It's always the politicians. Governor Quirinius...  What kind of Roman fool implements a census by sending people away from their homes and property to be registered... in the town of their ancestors? Everyone knows that people aren't the most important thing being counted in a census.  It's the livestock, of course.
+Personally, I blame the governor. It's always the politicians. Governor Quirinius...  What kind of Roman fool implements a census by sending people away from their homes and property to be registered... in the town of their ancestors? Everyone knows that people are not the most important thing being counted in a census.  It's the livestock, of course.
 You seem surprised.  What does your government count each year, in order to tax you?  Is it you? Or is it your wealth?
@@ Line 24: / Line 24: @@
 Long before coins and checks and credit cards, we cattle were the currency of choice.  Numbers were invented to count us.  The first letter of most alphabets represented the horned head of an ox.  Of course the Romans went and turned it upside down.  They never could tell their heads from their tails, those Romans.
-So you see, I'm kind of a big deal.  In the cradle of civilization, I was revered as Gugalana, the Bull of Heaven.  In Egypt I was Mnevis, the bovine manifestation of the Sun god, Ra.  To the Greeks I was Minotaur, immortalized in the stars as the constellation Taurus.  To the Northmen, I was audumla, the world-cow who licked mankind into existence.  And in Israel, I was known as Ba'al.  I was the golden calf the people worshipped when Moses went up the mountain.
+So you see, I'm kind of a big deal.  In the cradle of civilization, I was revered as Gugalana, the Bull of Heaven.  In Egypt I was Mnevis, the bovine manifestation of the Sun god, Ra.  To the Greeks I was Minotaur, immortalized in the stars as the constellation Taurus.  To the Northmen, I was audumla, the world-cow who licked mankind into existence.  And here in Israel, I was known as Ba'al.  I was the golden calf the people worshipped when Moses went up the mountain.
 Moses.  He had some kind of a beef with golden calves (still not sure what that was all about).  Mmmmmm...We never had much stake (steak) in Israel after that incident.  Still--the point is, we cattle are outstanding in our field.  Well, except when we're inside, standing in our stables.  You get the picture.
@@ Line 32: / Line 32: @@
 The donkey brought the carpenter, and the carpenter brought the girl.  Someone forgot to explain to them the difference between an inn and a stable, apparently. I heard them say something about "no room at the inn" but of course there's always room at the inn...for the right price.  Now if they had brought a few heifers instead of that donkey--well, 50 cents and a donkey might buy you a cup of coffee here in Bethlehem, especially if you hid the donkey around the corner.
-It was obvious that the carpenter was poor.  And it was obvious that the girl was pregnant.  And it was REALLY obvious that no one was getting any rest in the stable that night.
+It was obvious that the carpenter was poor.  And it was obvious that the girl was pregnant.  And it was REALLY obvious that no one was getting any sleep in the stable that night.  But at least one of us was going to get a good supper [starts to eat hay].

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:37, 13 December 2015
Line 32:		Line 32:
	The donkey brought the carpenter, and the carpenter brought the girl. Someone forgot to explain to them the difference between an inn and a stable, apparently. I heard them say something about "no room at the inn" but of course there's always room at the inn...for the right price. Now if they had brought a few heifers instead of that donkey--well, 50 cents and a donkey might buy you a cup of coffee here in Bethlehem, especially if you hid the donkey around the corner.		The donkey brought the carpenter, and the carpenter brought the girl. Someone forgot to explain to them the difference between an inn and a stable, apparently. I heard them say something about "no room at the inn" but of course there's always room at the inn...for the right price. Now if they had brought a few heifers instead of that donkey--well, 50 cents and a donkey might buy you a cup of coffee here in Bethlehem, especially if you hid the donkey around the corner.

−	It was obvious that the carpenter was poor. And it was obvious that the girl was pregnant. It was ~~really~~ obvious that no one was getting any rest in the stable that night.	+	It was obvious that the carpenter was poor. And it was obvious that the girl was pregnant. And it was REALLY obvious that no one was getting any rest in the stable that night.

@@ Line 8: / Line 8: @@
   I said the cow, all white and red
-Ok, people. First of all, let's get a few things straight. I heard your song. It's nice and all, but I am NOT a cow. That is udderly false.  I mean, seriously... do you see any udders here?
+Ok, people. First of all, let's get a few things straight. I heard your song. It's nice and all; the kids are cute. But I am NOT a cow. That is udderly false.  I mean, seriously... you see any udders here? Didn't think so.
-Didn't think so. I am an ox. A Bovine.  A steer.  A bullocks.  Or, if you're into scientific classifications: Animalia Chordata Mammalia Theria Eutheria Artiodactyla Bovidae Bovinae Bos taurus taurus.
+I am an ox. A Bovine.  A steer.  A bullocks.  Or, if you're into scientific classifications: Animalia Chordata Mammalia Theria Eutheria Artiodactyla Bovidae Bovinae Bos taurus taurus.  Just don't call me a cow, ok?
-Just don't call me a cow, ok?
+But the song is right about a few things.  This IS my manger. And you are in MY stable. You're welcome. Come in. Sit down. Have a drink. Thanks for knocking. What's that?  You didn't knock? Oh don't worry...no one does anymore.  It appears my stable is quite the place to be, these days. We've got sheep, donkeys camels, shepherds, angels, wise men, kings, and big bright star overhead that screams, "Come on over!" halfway across the continent.
-But the song is right about a few things.  This IS my manger. And you are in MY stable. You're welcome. Come in. Sit down. Thanks for knocking. What's that?  You didn't knock? Oh don't worry...no one does anymore.  It appears my stable is quite the place to be, these days.
+But it wasn't always like this.  It used to be a nice, warm, quiet stable--just me, my manger, my hay; those two love birds up there in the rafters; from time to time, maybe a horse passing through.  I like horses.  They're quiet.  They keep to themselves, unlike...donkeys.  Donkeys move in, and there goes the neighborhood.
-But it wasn't always like this.  It used to be a nice, warm, quiet stable--just me, my manger, my hay, a few mice, and those two doves up there in the rafters.  From time to time, maybe a visiting horse for a night or two.  I like horses.  They're quiet.  They keep to themselves, unlike donkeys, and sheep, and camels, and...people.
+Personally, I blame the governor. It's always the politicians. Governor Quirinius...  What kind of Roman fool implements a census by sending people away from their homes and property to be counted... in the town of their ancestors? Everyone knows that people aren't the most important thing being counted in a census.  It's the cattle, of course.
-−
 Personally, I blame the governor. Quirinius.  What kind of Roman fool implements a census by sending people away from their homes to be counted in the town of their ancestors? Everyone knows that people aren't the most important thing being counted in a census.  It's the cattle, of course.
 You seem surprised.  What does your government count each year, in order to tax you?  Is it you? Or is it your wealth?
-That's right.  The measure of a man is not what he does, but how much he owns.  My inkeeper owns me. It's not much, but it's something.  I, in turn, own this stable, this manger, this hay.  It's not much, but it's mine.
+That's right.  The measure of a man is not what he does, but how much he owns.  My inkeeper owns me. It's not much, but it's something.  I, in turn, own this manger, this hay.  Well, except for that time when I didn't... [chews thoughtfully for awhile]