Difference between revisions of "Sermon for November 18th, 2018"

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==Simple Gifts: What Do We Require?==
 
==Simple Gifts: What Do We Require?==
A Scotsman was shipwrecked and finally washed ashore on a small island. As he regains consciousness on the beach, he sees a beautiful unclad nymphet standing over him. She asks,' 'Would you like some food?'' The Scot hoarsely croaks,' 'Och, lassie, I havna' ittin a bite in a week noo and I am verra hungry!''
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Today's sermon is about the three essential things we require to live:  Food, drink, and...well, something else.
  
She disappears into the woods and quickly comes back with a heaping helping of haggis. When he has choked it down, she asks,' 'Would you like something to drink?''' 'Och, aye! That haggis has made me verra hungry and I wad verra much like a drink!'' She goes off into the woods again and returns with a bottle of 75-year-old single-malt Scotch whiskey.
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I'm reminded of the story about the Scotsman who was shipwrecked and, after several days, washed ashore on a small island. As he regained consciousness on the beach, he saw a beautiful, scantily-clad woman standing over him. She asked, "Would you like some food?" The Scotsman hoarsely croaked, "Och, lassie, I havna' ittin a bite in a week noo and I am verra hungry!"
  
The Scotsman is beginning to think that he's in heaven when the unclad nymphet leans closer and says,' 'Would you like to play around?''' 'Och, lassie, don't tell me ye've got a golf course here too!''
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So the woman disappeared into the woods and quickly came back with a heaping plate of steaming haggis, which the hungry Scotsman quickly devoured.  Then the beautiful woman asked him, "Would you like something to drink?"  "Och, aye! That haggis has made me verra thirsty." She went off into the woods again and returned with a bottle of 75-year-old single-malt Scotch whiskey.
  
source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Shipwrecked_Scotsman#ixzz5WxdX4CIB
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The Scotsman is now beginning to think that he's in heaven when the beautiful, scantily-clad woman leans closer and whispers, "Would you like to play around?" A great smile breaks over the Scotsman's face, and he says, "Och, lassie, don't tell me ye've got a golf course here too!"
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So food, drink, and...golf.  Actually, the list according to Jesus is slightly different. 
  
  

Revision as of 17:32, 16 November 2018

Matthew 6:24-33

24 “No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? 28 And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 32 For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Simple Gifts: What Do We Require?

Today's sermon is about the three essential things we require to live: Food, drink, and...well, something else.

I'm reminded of the story about the Scotsman who was shipwrecked and, after several days, washed ashore on a small island. As he regained consciousness on the beach, he saw a beautiful, scantily-clad woman standing over him. She asked, "Would you like some food?" The Scotsman hoarsely croaked, "Och, lassie, I havna' ittin a bite in a week noo and I am verra hungry!"

So the woman disappeared into the woods and quickly came back with a heaping plate of steaming haggis, which the hungry Scotsman quickly devoured. Then the beautiful woman asked him, "Would you like something to drink?" "Och, aye! That haggis has made me verra thirsty." She went off into the woods again and returned with a bottle of 75-year-old single-malt Scotch whiskey.

The Scotsman is now beginning to think that he's in heaven when the beautiful, scantily-clad woman leans closer and whispers, "Would you like to play around?" A great smile breaks over the Scotsman's face, and he says, "Och, lassie, don't tell me ye've got a golf course here too!"

So food, drink, and...golf. Actually, the list according to Jesus is slightly different.


worry = μεριμνάω - to be divided, pulled in two different directions

feeds = τρέφω = to provide for, nourish, take care of

toil = κοπιάω = work to the point of exhaustion

περιβάλλω = to wear = to be covered by, surrounded ourselves with

Needs acknowledged by God: Eat, Drink, and be Clothed (sheltered).