Difference between revisions of "Sermon for May 22nd, 2022"

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==Spiritual Gifts, Spiritual Ministries: Teaching==
 
==Spiritual Gifts, Spiritual Ministries: Teaching==
On the first day of school, the stern, old teacher stood and the front of his classroom.  He wanted to make the point that anyone could succeed in his class with the right effortAnd so, he addressed his class, and said, "If any of you here today feel that you are incapable of learning, I would like for you to please stand up right now."  It was a rhetorical question.  In his 30+ years of teaching, no one had ever stood up, of course, simply proving his point.  But this time, after the usual long, awkward pause, one boy slowly stood to his feet.  The teacher, surprised and a little confused said to the boy, "Young man, you really believe that you are incapable of learning?" The boy responded, "No sir...I just hated for you to be the only one standing, what with you being our teacher and all!"
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Today's sermon is going to be a short one, since we have our stepping up ceremony still to comeBut some of you know that I like to start off the sermon with a little bit of humor, and considering today's audience is quite a bit younger I'm going to adapt my style accordingly and tell you some of my favorite teacher jokes.  
  
Why did the student eat her science assignment?  Because the teacher told her it was a piece of cake!
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What's a teacher's favorite nation? Expla-nation.
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*Why did the student eat his science assignment?  Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Why did the teacher jump into the ocean? To test the waters!
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*What's a teacher's favorite nation? Expla-nation.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class?  Look at the board and I will go through it again.
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*Why did the teacher jump into the ocean? She wanted to TEST the waters!
Why was the geometry class tired? Because they were all out of shape!
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*What did the ghost teacher say to her class?  Look at the board...and I will go through it again.
Why does a music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
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*Why was the geometry class tired? Because they were all out of SHAPE!
What are ten things a teacher can always count on?  Her fingers!
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*Why does a music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
What kind of school teaches you about ice cream?  Sundae School.
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*What are ten things a teacher can always count on?  Her fingers!
What is the difference between a Teacher and a Train? The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”
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*What kind of school teaches you about ice cream?  Sundae School.
Why Do Teachers Fart in Class? Because they are not private tooters.
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*What is the difference between a Teacher and a Train? The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says... “Chew, chew!”
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*Why Do Teachers Fart in Class? Because they are not private tooters.

Revision as of 10:18, 21 May 2022

Romans 12:1-8

1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. 6 We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; 7 ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; 8 the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

Spiritual Gifts, Spiritual Ministries: Teaching

Today's sermon is going to be a short one, since we have our stepping up ceremony still to come. But some of you know that I like to start off the sermon with a little bit of humor, and considering today's audience is quite a bit younger I'm going to adapt my style accordingly and tell you some of my favorite teacher jokes.


  • Why did the student eat his science assignment? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
  • What's a teacher's favorite nation? Expla-nation.
  • Why did the teacher jump into the ocean? She wanted to TEST the waters!
  • What did the ghost teacher say to her class? Look at the board...and I will go through it again.
  • Why was the geometry class tired? Because they were all out of SHAPE!
  • Why does a music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
  • What are ten things a teacher can always count on? Her fingers!
  • What kind of school teaches you about ice cream? Sundae School.
  • What is the difference between a Teacher and a Train? The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says... “Chew, chew!”
  • Why Do Teachers Fart in Class? Because they are not private tooters.