Difference between revisions of "Sermon for June 16th, 2019"

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(Created page with "==Psalm 103:1-22== Of David. 1 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. 2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget all...")
 
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==Psummer of Psalms II - 103==
 
==Psummer of Psalms II - 103==
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For those of you who carefully read our church's online newsletter, the E-Pistle, and observed that today I would be preaching on Psalm 91... don't worry.  That's next week's sermon.  Today, however, I'm going a little off script, a little off plan, because it's father's day.  And I wanted to preach on a good, father's day psalm.  But first, since it's father's day and I am a father, I thought I would take this once-a-year opportunity to indulge in a truly fatherly pursuit:  The Dad joke.  I have ten of them, actually.  With absolutely no connection whatsoever to today's sermon, other than the fact that they bring great joy to... well... me.  And Dads like me all around the world.
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So here goes:
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1. What do you call a fish without eyes?  Fsh.
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2. What do you call someone with no body and no nose?  Nobody knows.
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3. What rhymes with orange?  No it doesn't.
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4. My son asked me to help him with a math problem.  I said, "don't worry, this is a piece of cake."  He said, no Dad, it's a math problem.
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5. Why can't you hear a psalm going to the bathroom?  Because the "p" is silent!
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6. The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
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7. I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.  It's a total rip-off.
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8. Would you like to hear a joke about construction?  I'm still working on it.
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9.  Would you like to hear a joke about paper?  It's tearable.
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10.  What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?  Irrelephant. 
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11. Did you hear the one about the new restaurant on the moon?  Great food, no atmosphere.
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12.

Revision as of 20:39, 12 June 2019

Psalm 103:1-22

Of David.
1 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name.
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and do not forget all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the Pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good as long as you live[a]
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6 The Lord works vindication
    and justice for all who are oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses,
    his acts to the people of Israel.
8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as the heavens are high above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far he removes our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion for his children,
    so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.
14 For he knows how we were made;
    he remembers that we are dust.

15 As for mortals, their days are like grass;
    they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more.
17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting
    on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children’s children,
18 to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.

19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
    and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
    you mighty ones who do his bidding,
    obedient to his spoken word.
21 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
    his ministers that do his will.
22 Bless the Lord, all his works,
    in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul.

Psummer of Psalms II - 103

For those of you who carefully read our church's online newsletter, the E-Pistle, and observed that today I would be preaching on Psalm 91... don't worry. That's next week's sermon. Today, however, I'm going a little off script, a little off plan, because it's father's day. And I wanted to preach on a good, father's day psalm. But first, since it's father's day and I am a father, I thought I would take this once-a-year opportunity to indulge in a truly fatherly pursuit: The Dad joke. I have ten of them, actually. With absolutely no connection whatsoever to today's sermon, other than the fact that they bring great joy to... well... me. And Dads like me all around the world.

So here goes:

1. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.

2. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

3. What rhymes with orange? No it doesn't.

4. My son asked me to help him with a math problem. I said, "don't worry, this is a piece of cake." He said, no Dad, it's a math problem.

5. Why can't you hear a psalm going to the bathroom? Because the "p" is silent!

6. The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

7. I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

8. Would you like to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

9. Would you like to hear a joke about paper? It's tearable.

10. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Irrelephant.

11. Did you hear the one about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

12.