Difference between revisions of "Sermon for July 21st, 2019"

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(Created page with "==Psalm 53:1-6== To the leader: according to Mahalath. A Maskil of David. 1 Fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they commit abominable a...")
 
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==Psummer of Psalms II - Psalm 53==
 
==Psummer of Psalms II - Psalm 53==
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To a modern reader, Psalm 53, which opens with the line "Fools say in their hearts there is no God" would seem to be addressed to atheists, those who don't believe in the existence of any divine being.  I'm going to make the case today that this is an incorrect reading of Psalm 53--a classic intrusion of a modern idea into an ancient text.  But of course, that still won't stop me from sharing with you a few of my favorite atheist jokes, both of which, for some reason I don't quite understand, involve being pursued by predatory beasts.  Maybe that's a common fear of atheists...or, more accurately, of Christians who write jokes about atheists. 
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An atheist was rowing his boat across Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster rose up out of the water and attacked the man, grabbing him from his boat. The man panicked and shouted "God help me!" and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said, "Give me a break--ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."
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Another atheist was going for a walk in the woods, when suddenly he happens across a huge grizzly bear.  The bear, clearly angry, begins to chase the him through the woods, and is just about to catch him when, in desperation, the man cries out to God for help.  Once again, everything freezes, and (once again) a voice booms from the heavens saying "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" This particular atheist says to God, "Okay, okay, but I believe in you now!  If I become a Christian, will you save me from the bear?" God thinks about it and says, "I'm sorry but I have a policy of not accepting conversions made under duress.  If you like, however, I can at least make the bear a Christian?" With no other options on the table, the atheist agrees, everything unfreezes, the bear kneels down, puts its paws together in prayer and says, "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I give you thanks."

Revision as of 10:48, 18 July 2019

Psalm 53:1-6

To the leader: according to Mahalath. A Maskil of David.
1 Fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.”
    They are corrupt, they commit abominable acts;
    there is no one who does good.

2 God looks down from heaven on humankind
    to see if there are any who are wise,
    who seek after God.

3 They have all fallen away, they are all alike perverse;
    there is no one who does good,
    no, not one.

4 Have they no knowledge, those evildoers,
    who eat up my people as they eat bread,
    and do not call upon God?

5 There they shall be in great terror,
    in terror such as has not been.
For God will scatter the bones of the ungodly;
    they will be put to shame, for God has rejected them.

6 O that deliverance for Israel would come from Zion!
    When God restores the fortunes of his people,
    Jacob will rejoice; Israel will be glad.

Psummer of Psalms II - Psalm 53

To a modern reader, Psalm 53, which opens with the line "Fools say in their hearts there is no God" would seem to be addressed to atheists, those who don't believe in the existence of any divine being. I'm going to make the case today that this is an incorrect reading of Psalm 53--a classic intrusion of a modern idea into an ancient text. But of course, that still won't stop me from sharing with you a few of my favorite atheist jokes, both of which, for some reason I don't quite understand, involve being pursued by predatory beasts. Maybe that's a common fear of atheists...or, more accurately, of Christians who write jokes about atheists.


An atheist was rowing his boat across Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster rose up out of the water and attacked the man, grabbing him from his boat. The man panicked and shouted "God help me!" and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said, "Give me a break--ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."

Another atheist was going for a walk in the woods, when suddenly he happens across a huge grizzly bear. The bear, clearly angry, begins to chase the him through the woods, and is just about to catch him when, in desperation, the man cries out to God for help. Once again, everything freezes, and (once again) a voice booms from the heavens saying "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" This particular atheist says to God, "Okay, okay, but I believe in you now! If I become a Christian, will you save me from the bear?" God thinks about it and says, "I'm sorry but I have a policy of not accepting conversions made under duress. If you like, however, I can at least make the bear a Christian?" With no other options on the table, the atheist agrees, everything unfreezes, the bear kneels down, puts its paws together in prayer and says, "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I give you thanks."