Sermon for February 14th, 2021

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1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (NT p.175)

1 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Love Is...

A frog went to see a fortune teller. He wanted to know what the future had in store for him, and whether he would ever find true love. The fortune teller, gazing deep into a crystal ball, told the frog "You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you. She will want to know everything about you. You'll open yourself up to her and you will give her your heart." The frog was pleased with this, and asked "Where and when will we meet each other? On Valentine's day? On a blind date?"

"No," said the fortune teller. "You will meet on a Monday morning...in her biology class."

Just a little reminder that "true love" doesn't always live up to our expectations!

Today is, of course, Valentine's day--a day when people around the world celebrate love. And yet, often this holiday seems to have more to do with buying things and overindulging in chocolate than in actual acts of kindness and self-sacrifice to others. Hollywood movies point to romantic love as our highest ideal, our greatest achievement, the happy ending that lasts forever...and yet over 50% of all marriages in our culture end in divorce.

We love love, but we don't really know how to find it, what to do with it, how to hold on to it, or even how to give it away. As a pastor, I've heard married couples say "I just don't love her (or him) anymore." I've heard angry teenagers say "I hate my parents!" and I've heard parents say "I love my children" but then I watch how little time they spend with them--and I wonder what love even means to us, when we can turn around and in the next breath say "I love enchiladas" or "I love shopping." Despite all our aspirations and our best attempts, I'm not sure we really even know what love is, let alone how to adequately show it on the other 364 days of the year.

Fortunately for us, the Bible has a thing or two to say about love--some pointers, if you will. One of the most famous places this happens is in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, also known as the "love chapter." I've preached on this passage at countless weddings, but never actually on a Sunday morning, until today.

1st Corinthians takes the form of a letter written by the Apostle Paul to the young church in the Greek city of Corinth. Paul had founded this church sometime around the year 50, but then left to continue planting other churches. A few years later, he received news about the congregation in Corinth, that while they were outwardly preaching and proclaiming a message of love, inwardly they were divided, bitterly fighting against each other, calling each other names, and drawing lines in the sand. I think in America today, we can probably relate.

So Paul set pen to parchment, writing a letter and carefully addressing all the issues that divided them, giving detailed solutions and theological justifications. I like to imagine that by the time he got to the end of 12 chapters of his letter, he put down his pen in frustration, realizing that logic and reason rarely ever change anyone's position. In my imagination, he pauses, maybe prays to God for inspiration, perhaps thinks of Jesus... and then the Apostle picks up his pen again, with renewed resolve, and writes the last verse of chapter 12, which says: "Let me show you a more excellent way." And then he launches into chapter 13 his famous discourse on love.

1 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

In other words, all the solutions to all the problems in the world are just noise, just words, if the underlying sentiment is not right. This is important--you cannot win an argument, you cannot change the behavior of another person, you cannot convince anyone of anything, unless you love them first. Think about that next time you watch the news and get frustrated at what "those" people are doing. Do you love them? If not, then lay down your weapons, lay down your words and arguments, and start there.

But Pastor Neal--how am I supposed to love someone that I don't really like or even understand? That's a great question. We'll get to that. But first, maybe that's not even your situation. Maybe you're frustrated with someone you really *do* love (a parent, a spouse, a child) but things aren't in a good place right now. You feel the love, but that love doesn't seem to be getting through or making a difference in your relationship.

I think that's because we so often forget *how* to love, or rather, how to express our love, beyond cards, or flowers, or even words. And so Paul, starting in verse 4, reminds us what true love actually looks like--and here's a surprise--it's not made out of chocolate or anything you can buy:

4 Love is patient. So... be patient with the ones you love, or the ones you want to love, or even the ones you don't love but really should. Love is patient.

Love is kind. So... be kind. Notice that these two things have nothing to do with the other person or people--and everything to do with you. It doesn't matter whether they are patient, whether they are kind.

Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. Here Paul switches from describing what love is, to what it is not.

When I read those words just now (be honest): how many of you thought, "But I'm not boastful!" (which is, you know, boasting about how your not boastful--even if only in your mind).

When we argue with people we love (and those we want to love, and those we don't love but should) how often do our arguments themselves imply, "I'm right about this, and you are wrong?" (which is almost the textbook definition of arrogance--even if you are, in fact, right). And if you do any of these things out loud (or non-verbally with your body language) well...that's rude. And love is not rude.

Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.

Aha! The truth! Look, Pastor Neal, that's what I was doing--I wasn't arguing, I was just being honest. I was telling the truth, and people don't want to hear the truth.

No so fast. Remember, love is something we do for others, not something we expect from others. Loving someone means trying to see the truth in *their* words, their actions, not your own--and then rejoicing in whatever truth you find there, no matter how great or how small.

Love bears all things. Does that mean I have to put up with things that are unacceptable? No, but sometimes love means carrying more than your share of the weight when the other person cannot (or will not).

Love believes all things. Does that mean I have to be gullible and naive? No, but it does mean choosing over and over again to believe the best about someone, rather than imagining the worst.

Love hopes all things. But what if my hopes are crushed? What if the ones I love let me down? Then that means they are human. Hope, by definition, is never a guarantee. It's a chance. It's a risk. And...it's a renewable resource that doesn't cost you anything. You can always hold out hope, again and again.

Love endures all things. Once again, does that mean I have to put up with things that are unacceptable? No. Endurance is about time and commitment--sometimes you have to take a step back or a step away, but love means never going too far, and always being willing to come back and try again.

Paul's definition of love is not easy. In fact, it's a lot harder than buying something, or saying "I love you" in fancy letters spelled out in red balloons. Chocolates melt, or get eaten. Balloons shrivel, and even words printed on paper fade in time. Our actions, on the other hand... our attitudes, our sacrifices, and yes, even our self-restraint--when done in love, these things have the power to transform a relationship, or at the very least, they transform us into the kind of people worth having a relationship with. And that is worth the effort.

The final section of Paul's "love chapter" is my favorite. He has told us why love is important. He has told us what love is, and what it looks like. Now he tells us where it's going:

8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.

In other words, love evolves. The love that we give to others, and the love that we have to give, has the capacity to grow and mature in time, throughout our lives and even beyond. If you think you don't have enough love to give; if you think you don't (or can't) love someone, or a group of someones, then start small. God loves nothing more than to take partial things, broken things, incomplete things, and make them whole, make them complete.

Everything else you ever do in your life will come to an end. All your achievements, all your knowledge, all your words, everything you do will someday be lost and forgotten. But here's the promise of 1st Corinthians: Whatever you achieve for others, out of love... whatever you learn about others, out of love... Whatever you say to others in love, and whatever you do out of love... these things will last forever, not just in this life, but in whatever lies ahead.

Paul ends his letter with a famous comparison, verse 13 of chapter 13:

13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

I began the sermon today with a rather disastrous love story that didn't quite turn out as planned. I want to end with a different kind of love story, one which gets to the very heart of that "1st Corinthians" kind of love:

It was a busy morning, approximately 8: 30 a. m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00. The nurse took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be well over an hour before someone would to able to see him. The old man looked nervously at his watch and, seeing this, the nurse decided to go ahead and evaluate his wound. While doing this, the two struck up a conversation. She asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, since he was in such a hurry. The gentleman said no, but that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

When the nurse asked about his wife's health, he told her that his wife was in otherwise good health, but was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. The nurse then asked if his wife would be upset, or worried, if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in over five years now. This surprised the nurse, who said, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" The old man smiled and said to the young woman, "She doesn't know who I am, but I still know who she is."

Happy Valentine's Day, people of First Presbyterian Church. My prayer for you today is not that you might "find" true love, or even keep it if you have already found it. No. My prayer for you today is that you might give true love, and not just to one other person, but to everyone whom God places in your path, and more and more each day.