Sermon for December 6th, 2020
Matthew 1:18-25
18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23 “Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,”
which means, “God is with us.” 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.
Angel Songs: Afraid to Love
My wife Amy and I met and started dating each other when we were just 16 years old. We've known and loved each other for almost 30 years, and we've been married for the last 20. You would think in all those years that I might have learned a few things about love. And you would be wrong. But that's never stopped me from sharing my opinions before, so...
- Love is like juggling knives, playing the bagpipes, reading Hebrew, or golf: It seems easy until you actually try it.
- Love is like haggis (or Menudo or hot dogs or casserole). Only those responsible for making it really know what goes into it.
- When you love someone, you shouldn't criticize that person's choices...because you are one of those choices.
- When your spouse says that she loves you even more today than she did yesterday...it's probably because you made her really mad yesterday.
- Love isn't about finding the right person. It's about becoming the right person and being the right person for someone else, over and over again, every day.
Today's scripture passage is about Joseph and Mary. We don't know exactly when or how their love story began...was it love at first sight? Was it an arranged marriage? We don't get any of those details in our scripture passage, or anywhere else in the Bible, for that matter. By the time we come into the story, Mary and Joseph are engaged, but their love story is already in grave danger: Mary has been found to be with child--and Joseph knows that that the child is not his. What does that mean, "found" to be with child? Who did the finding? Was it public knowledge? Was it...obvious? Were people talking?
Joseph decides to quietly end the engagement, and here we are given a small insight into his love for Mary--we are told that he did not want to expose her to public disgrace. Even though he had a right to do so, according to Jewish law at the time. For all Joseph knew at this point, Mary had betrayed him with another man. He had a right to be angry. He also had a right to protect his own name, his own honor, if people were talking. Joseph's silence could be interpreted as weakness, or even complicity in Mary's supposed adultery.
And yet Joseph's first thought is not for his name, his honor, his anger, or even what was likely his great disappointment and sadness. His first thought was of Mary--the shame and suffering she would be exposed to if he publicly denounced her. Joseph didn't want that for Mary. But he also couldn't bring himself to forgive and to marry someone who had betrayed him in this way. So he resolved to himself that he would simply walk away, quietly, no matter what people might say about him.
That is, of course, before the angel appeared.
In the Christmas story, every appearance of an angel comes with a message, and every message begins with the words "Do not be afraid." And yet every message is different, uniquely tailored to its recipient. That's because, as human beings, we're all afraid. But we're afraid of different things. In last week's scripture, Zechariah was afraid to believe, after his prayers for a son had gone unanswered for so many years.
And in today's passage, the Angel finds Joseph grieving, ready to walk away from his engagement, from Mary and from the scandal of child that is not his. Joseph is afraid to love.
I've said that the "first thing" an angel always says is "Do not be afraid," but technically in this case, the very first thing the angel says is "Joseph, son of David." I think this is very intentional. In Jewish culture, the word "son" can also mean "descendent of." The Angel is reminding Joseph that he belongs to the house or family of David, the great King of ancient Israel. Despite that King David's "greatness" he had a pretty messed up family story, one that involved adultery, incest, rape, murder, prostitution, and all sorts of other scandalous things. It's almost as if the angel is saying to Joseph, "Hey, you're worried about the thing with Mary and her child? It's not like your family tree is exactly spotless, you know?"
"Joseph, son of David," the angel continues, "do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins."
The other appearances of angels in the Christmas story are literal, physical, real-world, wide-awake appearances...but this one is slightly different, because we read in verse 20 that the angel appeared to Joseph in a dream. Dreams are pretty easy to dismiss, to disregard, even to forget. How many of you remember right now what you dreamed about last night? How many of you would change the course of your life decisions based on what you dreamed last night?
Verse 24: "When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took [Mary] as his wife, but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he (Joseph) named him Jesus."
Joseph makes only one other subsequent appearance in the gospels: When Jesus is 12 years old and visits the temple in Jerusalem with his parents. Biblical scholars presume that Joseph probably died sometime after this, and before Jesus' adulthood, when we find his mother Mary portrayed as a widow. When Jesus dies at the age of 33, he entrusts the care of his mother to his disciple John, something that wouldn't be necessary if Joseph had still been alive.
And so for somewhere between 12 and 18 years, Joseph was a husband to Mary, and a father to Jesus, the child that wasn't his. Joseph was also the father of James, Joseph Jr., Jude, Simon, and some daughters, who are mentioned (though unnamed) in the gospels.
Joseph's love, and Joseph's story--as small and incomplete as it is in the gospels--is incredibly touching to me, perhaps more than any other story in the Bible. And that's because I know what it is to be on the receiving end of that kind of love.
When I was three years old, it was just me and my mother. She was divorced--something that was a lot more uncommon (and scandalous) back in the 1970's than it is today. I actually remember when Mike Locke came into our lives. He loved my Mom, and declared that love pretty early on. He didn't flinch at the fact that she already had a son, who wasn't his. He welcomed the opportunity to be a father to me, as well as a husband to her. My mom, on the other hand, wasn't so sure; after her first marriage, I think she was afraid to love again, too. But after he proposed to her ten or twelve times, she finally relented. Not long after that came my sister, and my two brothers.
Jesus' adoptive father was a carpenter. My adoptive father was a computer programmer. They both designed and built things for a living, but the most beautiful things they made were unconventional families. And they were both gone far too soon. Jesus lost his adoptive father in either his teens or his twenties, and I lost mine when I was 23. I have been forever shaped by his strong character, by his gentle example, and by the fact that he was not afraid to love my mother; he was not afraid to love me...just as much as if I had been his own.
That is perhaps the greatest gift I have been given in my life, and that's probably about as close as I'll ever come to having anything in common with Jesus.
But I hope that this Advent and Christmas season, you will listen to that angel song, in your dreams and in your heart, the one that says to you:
Do not be afraid...to tune out the world and its talk of scandal.
Do not be afraid...to forgive or to change your perspective.
Do not be afraid...of unconventional relationships.
Do not be afraid...to give yourself completely to another person (or two, or six).
Most of all, do not be afraid...to love.
