Sermon for May 22th, 2016

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Acts 11:1-18

1Now the apostles and the believers who were in Judea heard that the Gentiles had also accepted the word of God. 2 So when Peter went up to Jerusalem, the circumcised believers criticized him, 3 saying, “Why did you go to uncircumcised men and eat with them?” 4 Then Peter began to explain it to them, step by step, saying, 5 “I was in the city of Joppa praying, and in a trance I saw a vision. There was something like a large sheet coming down from heaven, being lowered by its four corners; and it came close to me. 6 As I looked at it closely I saw four-footed animals, beasts of prey, reptiles, and birds of the air. 7 I also heard a voice saying to me, ‘Get up, Peter; kill and eat.’ 8 But I replied, ‘By no means, Lord; for nothing profane or unclean has ever entered my mouth.’ 9 But a second time the voice answered from heaven, ‘What God has made clean, you must not call profane.’ 10 This happened three times; then everything was pulled up again to heaven. 11 At that very moment three men, sent to me from Caesarea, arrived at the house where we were. 12 The Spirit told me to go with them and not to make a distinction between them and us. These six brothers also accompanied me, and we entered the man’s house. 13 He told us how he had seen the angel standing in his house and saying, ‘Send to Joppa and bring Simon, who is called Peter; 14 he will give you a message by which you and your entire household will be saved.’ 15 And as I began to speak, the Holy Spirit fell upon them just as it had upon us at the beginning. 16 And I remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said, ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.’ 17 If then God gave them the same gift that he gave us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I that I could hinder God?” 18 When they heard this, they were silenced. And they praised God, saying, “Then God has given even to the Gentiles the repentance that leads to life.”

First Church: What God Has Made Clean

In today's scripture passage Peter tells the story of how he did a 180 degree turn, how God's spirit convicted him that all he had been taught, all he was raised to believe, was wrong. I'm reminded of the story of three pastors: A Presbyterian Pastor, a Baptist Pastor, and a Pentecostal Evangelical Fundamentalist Pastor all died and had went to heaven, where they are met at the pearly gates by St. Peter. Have I told you this one before?

First St. Peter escorts the Presbyterian pastor into a room where Jesus is waiting to meet him. He stays in the room for about an hour, and when he comes out he has tears of joy and relief streaming down his face, and he says to the other two pastors, "I can't believe how wrong I was about so many things!" Then he enters into the bliss of heaven.

Next, St. Peter escorts the Baptist pastor into the room with Jesus. He stays in the room for three or four hours, and when he comes out, he's shaking his head in disbelief, looking troubled. He says to the remaining pastor, "Wow. I can't believe how wrong I was about so many things." Then he inters into the bliss of heaven.


At this point, the Pentecostal Evangelical Fundamentalist Pastor, carrying his worn out King James Bible full of dog eared pages and bookmarks, enters into the room. He stays in there for three days and three nights, and St. Peter starts to get a little worried. But finally, the door opens...and out comes Jesus, shaking his head and saying, "I can't believe how wrong I was about so many things!"