Sermon for Palm Sunday - March 16, 2008

I'll get to the scripture reading in a minute, but first I wanted to note that today is indeed (in case you haven't figured it out yet) Palm Sunday -- the first day of what's known in the liturgical calendar as "Holy Week," where we remember and celebrate the events in the last week of Jesus' life, his death, and his resurrection(aka Easter Sunday).

Holy week is an emotional roller coaster. It usually goes something like this: Triumph on Palm Sunday, when Jesus marches into Jerusalem and is greeted by enthusiastic crowds; Solemnity and nostalgia on Maundy Thursday as Jesus shares his last Supper with his closest friends; Anger and rage on Good Friday as the crowds turn against Jesus, followed by sadness and grief as he is executed on a cross; Fear and uncertainty on Holy Saturday, as the disciples hide and ponder their shattered purposes; then finally Joy and again triumph on Easter Sunday, as Jesus returns having conquered death and hell. But there's one common emotion that is missing in the way we usually tell this story. What about humor?

It's subtle, but I think you'll find it in today's scripture reading. I'll be reading from the NIV translation. Oh, and I'm not talking about the "New International Version" here, but rather the one I use with the teenagers when we talk about the bible: The NIV, or "Neal's Improvised Version." I've been told it's quite different from the original text, and has a tendency to exaggerate or stretch the limits of the story. To which I invariably reply, "It's all 100% true. If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself and see." And that, incidentally, is how you get a teenager to actually read the bible.

Now when they drew near Jerusalem, and came to Beth-phage, at the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent his two best stealth-ninja disciples into town, saying to them "Go into the village opposite you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied, and a colt with her." The disciples said, "Whoah dude, Jesus is using those psychic powers again." Jesus said, "Hey guys, we're in 1st century Jerusalem. If we were in 21st century Frisco, and I told you to go out to the parking lot, and immediately you will find an SUV with a pick-up truck next to it, would you still be impressed with my psychic powers? The stealth-ninja disciples, whose training did not include rigorous mental exercises, said "Oh." Then Jesus said, "untie the donkey and the colt, and bring them to me. And if anyone says anything to you, you shall say, The Lord has need of them...and then run really fast." Then Jesus winked at them. And they said, "Oh."

So the stealth-ninja disciples went and did as Jesus commanded them. They brought the donkey and the colt, and threw their clothes on them, rather like you throw some clothes on in the morning before you go out. The donkeys, who preferred Abercrombie and Aero-Postale to black stealth-ninja robes, were not amused. So Jesus rode into town, and a very great multitude spread their clothes on the road; others (who were not so much into public nudity) modestly cut down branches from the trees, and spread them on the road.

Then the crowds cried out, saying: "Hey, here comes our savior -- the Son of King David! Save us, mighty King, Save Us! Move over, let me see! No, you get out of the way! Look, I can almost see him! Here he comes...This is so Awesome! Hey, what's that he's riding? Battle Stallion? War Horse? Ummm, let me see. Looks like...oh. What?? Ummm...he's riding a donkey. No seriously, what's he riding? Thoroughbred? No, I'm pretty sure that's a...yep--it's a donkey. Eee-awww.

And when Jesus had come into Jerusalem, all the city was greatly moved, saying..."ummm, who's that?" So the multitudes said, "This is Jesus, that prophet from Oklahoma. Nothing good ever came out of there, now, did it?"

This is the word of the youth director (thanks be he's leaving!).

• Contrast the humor with the dangerous seriousness of passover Jerusalem -- Jesus is using humor to diffuse a tense situation.
• 1970's film Slapshot -- Paul Newman hockey film where a hockey game turns into a brawl, and one of the players, instead of joining in starts stripping his clothes off. The Players start laughing and the fight ends.
• There are basically two responses Jesus could have made to the desires and implicit question the crowds were asking him -- are you the king we've been waiting for? -- He could say "yes," and now he's the leader of the uprising, the insurrection against the Roman Empire...which would proceed to squash him and the Jews as they had done many times before. Or, he could say "no," in which case the eager, desperate crowd would squash him as an impostor and a fraud. It's a trap, like all the other times he's confronted with the silly people of this world, and their silly beliefs and expectations. What does he do? Same as always...he takes the third way, the one that turns everything upside down. He says to the crowd, "Yeah I'm your king -- how do you like my royal donkey?" Jew or Roman, I would have laughed, I think, and maybe said, "Yeah, that Jesus guy...he's something else." Of course, five days later he gets squashed by the crowd AND by the Roman Empire.

And we really don't like that part, do we? We, Americans, who cannot stand to lose. Thank God for Easter and the resurrection, or else how could we possibly worship a Jesus who surrenders his life without a fight? You see, I think the crowd on that first Palm Sunday got the joke, but maybe we're the ones who don't get it. We're still looking for a power messiah. We still celebrate Palm Sunday as a "triumphant entry" and we sing songs about Hosanna, All Glory Laud and Honor, and Here is Our King, here in the most powerful country on earth (with our mighty Armies and 850 Billion Dollar Defense budget), where 80% of our citizens consider themselves "Christians"...and HOW can we POSSIBLY claim to understand what Jesus meant when he said that "the last will be first and the first will be last."

I've noticed a trend in recent pop-Christianity books: Jesus, CEO ... Jesus, Coach ... Jesus, Entrepreneur. Not to knock these books -- I'm sure they talk about Jesus as a leader of people, and he was certainly that. But we also admire CEOs, Coaches, and Entrepreneurs. How many people in our culture would buy a book called "Jesus, Garbage Man ... Jesus, Maid ... or Jesus, Illegal Immigrant?

• In the 4th century, Christianity became the official religion of Rome, but it isn't quite clear whether Rome converted to Christianity, or whether Christianity converted to Romanism.
• We most often call Jesus "Son of God" which implies power and authority. Jesus' favorite thing to call himself was "Son of Man" which implies vulnerability, mortality, commonality
• We much prefer to celebrate Easter -- the victorious Jesus, who "conquers" death and hell to save us ('cause it's really all about us, right?). Easter makes salvation easy -- all we have to do is respond to an altar call and say the sinner's prayer. Just believe and accept Jesus in your heart, and everything will be ok. I think easy salvation is what the crowd was looking for on Palm Sunday, too.
• The Jesus of Palm Sunday is harder for us to like -- he's not a "winner." He's a comedian, who subtly mocks us, and challenges us to abandon power, abandon wealth, abandon comfort and even safety, and all the other things that we spend our lifetimes acquiring, protecting, defending, and insuring. It's bad enough Jesus wants us to leave our stuff behind, but then he wants us to give it to the poor? The undeserving, yucky, smelly, maybe lazy, maybe

Yeah, that's what Jesus tells us, over and over again, even though we much prefer the other passages about being born again, and coming back from the dead. But he does it with a smile...riding on a donkey. And if you can take a joke, if you can laugh at yourself just a little