Sermon for May 8th, 2016

My mother taught me about RELIGION: "You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to smack you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me about IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of starving children in the world who'd love to eat that asparagus." My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." My mother taught me about GIVING and RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" My mother taught me about HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." My mother taught me about WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".