Sermon for March 24th, 2024

Luke 19:28-40

28After he had said this, he went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem. 29When he had come near Bethphage and Bethany, at the place called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of the disciples, 30saying, “Go into the village ahead of you, and as you enter it you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden. Untie it and bring it here. 31If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ just say this, ‘The Lord needs it.’ ” 32So those who were sent departed and found it as he had told them. 33As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?” 34They said, “The Lord needs it.” 35Then they brought it to Jesus; and after throwing their cloaks on the colt, they set Jesus on it. 36As he rode along, people kept spreading their cloaks on the road. 37As he was now approaching the path down from the Mount of Olives, the whole multitude of the disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the deeds of power that they had seen, 38saying, “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven, and glory in the highest heaven!” 39Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, order your disciples to stop.” 40He answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out.”

How to Steal a Donkey

• What do you call a donkey with only three legs? A wonky donkey.
• What do you call a donkey with three legs and a lazy eye? A winky wonky donkey.
• What do you call a donkey with three legs, and a lazy eye, breaking wind? A stinky winky wonky donkey.
• What do you call a donkey with three legs, a lazy eye, breaking wind, and wearing blue suede shoes? A honky tonky stinky winky wonky donkey.
• What do you call a donkey with three legs, a lazy eye, breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes and playing the piano? A plinky-plonky, honky-tonky, stinky-winky wonky donkey.
• What do you call a donkey with three legs, a lazy eye, breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano while driving a truck? Just talented. Very talented.

Today is Palm Sunday—the day we remember Jesus’ triumphal entry into the city of Jerusalem, when the crowds laid down palm branches in his path and hailed him as the long-awaited Messiah. This story appears (with slight variations) in all four gospels, although in the gospel of Luke (our passage today) there are actually no palm branches mentioned. Instead, people spread their coats on the ground in front of Jesus.

Countless sermons have been preached on this story through the years. I’ve preached on it several times, too. Usually these sermons focus on Jesus (not surprising—he is the star of the show, after all), or sometimes they focus on the meaning of the palm branches (short version: they can either symbolize peace…or a conquering war hero). Sometimes the Palm Sunday sermon will focus on the fickle crowd…. that shouts Hosanna and calls Jesus a King, but just a few days later turns against him and angrily calls for the Roman government to “crucify him!” Often the focus will be on the great irony (probably intentional) of how the King of Kings, the Son of God, rode into town not on a stately horse, but on a humble donkey, not decked out in sword and shield, but wearing a robe and sandals, not at the head of a mighty band of warriors, but leading fishermen, peasants, and the dregs of society.

Those are all great sermons…but they have been preached many, many times. Today, I want to focus on a much more neglected part of the story, a much more perplexing (and in my opinion, more humorous) part of the story—the part before the crowds, before the palm branches, and before the triumphal entry.

Today I want to talk about that time when Jesus told his disciples to go steal a donkey.

If you read the text, there’s really no way around this, other than to just ignore it (which is what most theologians seem to do). Jesus clearly tells two of his disciples (verse 30) “Go into the village ahead of you, and as you enter it you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden. Untie it and bring it here.”

A colt, in the Greek language of the New Testament is πῶλον, which can mean a young horse, a young donkey, or really any young four-legged animal. But most biblical scholars acknowledge this as a donkey, in part because two of the gospels (Matthew and John) connect this event to an Old Testament prophecy in the Book of Zechariah that says that the king (the messiah) will come riding into town on a חֲמ֔וֹר (hamor), and the Hebrew word חֲמ֔וֹר (hamor) definitely means donkey.

“Go into the village ahead of you, and as you enter it you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden. Untie it and bring it here.”

So…maybe Jesus had already made prior arrangements with Enterprise-Rent-a-Donkey, or maybe he just used his Jesus-powers to poof a donkey into existence that didn’t belong to anyone…? But the next verse kind of works against that. Verse 31:

31If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ just say this, ‘The Lord needs it.’ And then run really fast. I’m just kidding, Jesus didn’t say that last part. Or did he…you know, with a smile and a wink? The Bible may not record EVERYTHING Jesus said….