Difference between revisions of "Sermon for June 19th, 2022"

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==Psummer of Psalms V: Psalm 6==
 
==Psummer of Psalms V: Psalm 6==
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On September 11th, 2004 (the day my son Grady was born) I gained an incredible new superpower: The ability to tell Dad jokes. On December 16, 2007, when Abby was born, I leveled up. And on December 16th, 2011 when Jonah was born, I became a Jedi-Dad-Joke-Master. Since today is Father's day, I will now indulge in this ancient, sacred, art on behalf of Dads everywhere. 
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-What's the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke?  Just one letter.
 
-What's the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke?  Just one letter.
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-What's the secret to telling a dad joke on an elevator?  It has to work on many levels.
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-What famous rock group has four men who can't sing?  Mount Rushmore.
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-What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a father?  A faux pa.
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-I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn't like it.
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-I’ve got a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too, but underwater is one of my favorites.
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-I used to play the piano by ear, but now I just use my hands.
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-I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
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-I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey, but then I turned myself around.
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-My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So...we went out. We had a few drinks. Turns out he's a pretty nice guy. He does web design for a living.
  
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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
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I should note that these jokes have absolutely nothing to do with today's scripture passage, except for the fact that the NRSV Bible calls Psalm 6 a "Prayer for Recovery from Grave Illness."  If any of those jokes made you smack yourself on the forehead, grab your stomach, or groan for mercy, then perhaps this prayer is for you.
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I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands
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I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.
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I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey until I turned myself around.
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The Lego shop reopens tomorrow, but I recommend avoiding it for the time being.
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People will be lined up for blocks.
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I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn't like it.
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What rock group has four men who can't sing?  Mount Rushmore.
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I’ve got a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too, but underwater is one of my favorites.
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Just adopted a dog from the local blacksmith but as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
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The police just arrested the world’s tongue twister champion. They say he’ll be given a tough sentence.
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There was a jar at the dentist’s office labeled “patient pens only.” I told the assistant that it was a good call because you wouldn’t want to collect any impatient pens. She was not amused…
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Revision as of 16:18, 18 June 2022

Psalm 6:1-10

To the leader: with stringed instruments; according to The Sheminith. A Psalm of David.
1 O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger
    or discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing;
    O Lord, heal me, for my bones are shaking with terror.
3 My soul also is struck with terror,
    while you, O Lord—how long?

4 Turn, O Lord, save my life;
    deliver me for the sake of your steadfast love.
5 For in death there is no remembrance of you;
    in Sheol who can give you praise?

6 I am weary with my moaning;
    every night I flood my bed with tears;
    I drench my couch with my weeping.
7 My eyes waste away because of grief;
    they grow weak because of all my foes.

8 Depart from me, all you workers of evil,
    for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my supplication;
    the Lord accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies shall be ashamed and struck with terror;
    they shall turn back and in a moment be put to shame.

Psummer of Psalms V: Psalm 6

On September 11th, 2004 (the day my son Grady was born) I gained an incredible new superpower: The ability to tell Dad jokes. On December 16, 2007, when Abby was born, I leveled up. And on December 16th, 2011 when Jonah was born, I became a Jedi-Dad-Joke-Master. Since today is Father's day, I will now indulge in this ancient, sacred, art on behalf of Dads everywhere.

-What's the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke? Just one letter. -What famous rock group has four men who can't sing? Mount Rushmore. -I was going to tell you a time-traveling joke, but you didn't like it. -I’ve got a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too, but underwater is one of my favorites. -I used to play the piano by ear, but now I just use my hands. -I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. -I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey, but then I turned myself around. -My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So...we went out. We had a few drinks. Turns out he's a pretty nice guy. He does web design for a living.

I should note that these jokes have absolutely nothing to do with today's scripture passage, except for the fact that the NRSV Bible calls Psalm 6 a "Prayer for Recovery from Grave Illness." If any of those jokes made you smack yourself on the forehead, grab your stomach, or groan for mercy, then perhaps this prayer is for you.

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