Difference between revisions of "Sermon for November 15th, 2020"
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==Job 1:1-3; 13-19== | ==Job 1:1-3; 13-19== | ||
| + | 1 There was once a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job. That man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. 2 There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. 3 He had seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen, five hundred donkeys, and very many servants; so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the east. | ||
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| + | 13 One day when his sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in the eldest brother’s house, 14 a messenger came to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were feeding beside them, 15 and the Sabeans fell on them and carried them off, and killed the servants with the edge of the sword; I alone have escaped to tell you.” 16 While he was still speaking, another came and said, “The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants, and consumed them; I alone have escaped to tell you.” 17 While he was still speaking, another came and said, “The Chaldeans formed three columns, made a raid on the camels and carried them off, and killed the servants with the edge of the sword; I alone have escaped to tell you.” 18 While he was still speaking, another came and said, “Your sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house, 19 and suddenly a great wind came across the desert, struck the four corners of the house, and it fell on the young people, and they are dead; I alone have escaped to tell you.” | ||
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| + | ==Counting Camels II== | ||
| + | *What's the difference between King Arthur and Cleopatra? One had Camelot. The other had a lot of camels. | ||
| + | *two bactrian camel. A camel with one hump is a dromedary camel. | ||
| + | What do you call a camel with three humps? Pregnant | ||
| + | *What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey | ||
| + | *What do you call the cry of a camel? A hump-back wail! | ||
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| + | A curious baby camel was asking his mother questions one day... | ||
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| + | “Mom, why do we have such huge feet with three toes?” | ||
| + | |||
| + | “They help us walk through the desert,” answered the mother camel. “The large toes stay on top of the soft sand.” | ||
| + | |||
| + | “Why do we have such long eyelashes?" | ||
| + | |||
| + | “To keep the sand out our eyes on our long walks in the desert.” | ||
| + | |||
| + | “Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?” | ||
| + | |||
| + | “They help us store energy, so we can go several days through the desert without food.” | ||
| + | |||
| + | The baby camel thinks of all this for a little while, and then says, "Mom?" | ||
| + | |||
| + | "Yes, dear?" | ||
| + | |||
| + | "What the heck are we doing in the San Diego Zoo?" | ||
Revision as of 15:39, 14 November 2020
Job 1:1-3; 13-19
1 There was once a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job. That man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. 2 There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. 3 He had seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen, five hundred donkeys, and very many servants; so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the east.
13 One day when his sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in the eldest brother’s house, 14 a messenger came to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were feeding beside them, 15 and the Sabeans fell on them and carried them off, and killed the servants with the edge of the sword; I alone have escaped to tell you.” 16 While he was still speaking, another came and said, “The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants, and consumed them; I alone have escaped to tell you.” 17 While he was still speaking, another came and said, “The Chaldeans formed three columns, made a raid on the camels and carried them off, and killed the servants with the edge of the sword; I alone have escaped to tell you.” 18 While he was still speaking, another came and said, “Your sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house, 19 and suddenly a great wind came across the desert, struck the four corners of the house, and it fell on the young people, and they are dead; I alone have escaped to tell you.”
Counting Camels II
- What's the difference between King Arthur and Cleopatra? One had Camelot. The other had a lot of camels.
- two bactrian camel. A camel with one hump is a dromedary camel.
What do you call a camel with three humps? Pregnant
- What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey
- What do you call the cry of a camel? A hump-back wail!
A curious baby camel was asking his mother questions one day...
“Mom, why do we have such huge feet with three toes?”
“They help us walk through the desert,” answered the mother camel. “The large toes stay on top of the soft sand.”
“Why do we have such long eyelashes?"
“To keep the sand out our eyes on our long walks in the desert.”
“Why do we have these giant humps on our backs?”
“They help us store energy, so we can go several days through the desert without food.”
The baby camel thinks of all this for a little while, and then says, "Mom?"
"Yes, dear?"
"What the heck are we doing in the San Diego Zoo?"
