Difference between revisions of "Sermon for December 13th, 2015"
| Line 8: | Line 8: | ||
I said the cow, all white and red | I said the cow, all white and red | ||
| − | Ok, people. First of all, let's get a few things straight. I heard your song. It's nice and all | + | Ok, people. First of all, let's get a few things straight. I heard your song. It's nice and all; the kids are cute. But I am NOT a cow. That is udderly false. I mean, seriously... you see any udders here? Didn't think so. |
| − | + | I am an ox. A Bovine. A steer. A bullocks. Or, if you're into scientific classifications: Animalia Chordata Mammalia Theria Eutheria Artiodactyla Bovidae Bovinae Bos taurus taurus. Just don't call me a cow, ok? | |
| − | + | But the song is right about a few things. This IS my manger. And you are in MY stable. You're welcome. Come in. Sit down. Have a drink. Thanks for knocking. What's that? You didn't knock? Oh don't worry...no one does anymore. It appears my stable is quite the place to be, these days. We've got sheep, donkeys camels, shepherds, angels, wise men, kings, and big bright star overhead that screams, "Come on over!" halfway across the continent. | |
| − | But | + | But it wasn't always like this. It used to be a nice, warm, quiet stable--just me, my manger, my hay; those two love birds up there in the rafters; from time to time, maybe a horse passing through. I like horses. They're quiet. They keep to themselves, unlike...donkeys. Donkeys move in, and there goes the neighborhood. |
| − | + | Personally, I blame the governor. It's always the politicians. Governor Quirinius... What kind of Roman fool implements a census by sending people away from their homes and property to be counted... in the town of their ancestors? Everyone knows that people aren't the most important thing being counted in a census. It's the cattle, of course. | |
| − | + | ||
| − | Personally, I blame the governor. Quirinius. What kind of Roman fool implements a census by sending people away from their homes to be counted in the town of their ancestors? Everyone knows that people aren't the most important thing being counted in a census. It's the cattle, of course. | + | |
You seem surprised. What does your government count each year, in order to tax you? Is it you? Or is it your wealth? | You seem surprised. What does your government count each year, in order to tax you? Is it you? Or is it your wealth? | ||
| − | That's right. The measure of a man is not what he does, but how much he owns. My inkeeper owns me. It's not much, but it's something. I, in turn, own | + | That's right. The measure of a man is not what he does, but how much he owns. My inkeeper owns me. It's not much, but it's something. I, in turn, own this manger, this hay. Well, except for that time when I didn't... [chews thoughtfully for awhile] |
| + | |||
| + | Long before coins and credit cards, we cattle were the currency of choice. Numbers were invented to count us. The first letter of most alphabets represented the horned head of an ox. Of course the Romans went and turned it upside down. They never could tell their heads from their tails, those Romans. | ||
| + | |||
| + | In the cradle of civilization, I was revered as Gugalana, the Bull of Heaven. In Egypt I was Mnevis, the bovine manifestation of the Sun god, Ra. To the Greeks I was Minotaur, immortalized in the stars as the constellation Taurus. To the Northmen, I was audumla, the world-cow who licked mankind into existence. And in Israel, I was known as Ba'al. I was the golden calf the people worshipped when Moses went up the mountain. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Moses. He had some kind of a beef with golden calves. Still not sure what that was all about. Never had much stake (steak) in Israel after that incident. Still--the point is, we cattle are outstanding in our field. Well, except when we're inside, standing in our stables. You get the picture. | ||
Revision as of 22:42, 12 December 2015
Luke 2:1-7
In those days a decree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered. 2 This was the first registration and was taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. 3 All went to their own towns to be registered. 4 Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of David. 5 He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. 7 And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.
O Night Bovine
I said the cow, all white and red I gave Him my manger for His bed I gave Him my hay to pillow His head I said the cow, all white and red
Ok, people. First of all, let's get a few things straight. I heard your song. It's nice and all; the kids are cute. But I am NOT a cow. That is udderly false. I mean, seriously... you see any udders here? Didn't think so.
I am an ox. A Bovine. A steer. A bullocks. Or, if you're into scientific classifications: Animalia Chordata Mammalia Theria Eutheria Artiodactyla Bovidae Bovinae Bos taurus taurus. Just don't call me a cow, ok?
But the song is right about a few things. This IS my manger. And you are in MY stable. You're welcome. Come in. Sit down. Have a drink. Thanks for knocking. What's that? You didn't knock? Oh don't worry...no one does anymore. It appears my stable is quite the place to be, these days. We've got sheep, donkeys camels, shepherds, angels, wise men, kings, and big bright star overhead that screams, "Come on over!" halfway across the continent.
But it wasn't always like this. It used to be a nice, warm, quiet stable--just me, my manger, my hay; those two love birds up there in the rafters; from time to time, maybe a horse passing through. I like horses. They're quiet. They keep to themselves, unlike...donkeys. Donkeys move in, and there goes the neighborhood.
Personally, I blame the governor. It's always the politicians. Governor Quirinius... What kind of Roman fool implements a census by sending people away from their homes and property to be counted... in the town of their ancestors? Everyone knows that people aren't the most important thing being counted in a census. It's the cattle, of course.
You seem surprised. What does your government count each year, in order to tax you? Is it you? Or is it your wealth?
That's right. The measure of a man is not what he does, but how much he owns. My inkeeper owns me. It's not much, but it's something. I, in turn, own this manger, this hay. Well, except for that time when I didn't... [chews thoughtfully for awhile]
Long before coins and credit cards, we cattle were the currency of choice. Numbers were invented to count us. The first letter of most alphabets represented the horned head of an ox. Of course the Romans went and turned it upside down. They never could tell their heads from their tails, those Romans.
In the cradle of civilization, I was revered as Gugalana, the Bull of Heaven. In Egypt I was Mnevis, the bovine manifestation of the Sun god, Ra. To the Greeks I was Minotaur, immortalized in the stars as the constellation Taurus. To the Northmen, I was audumla, the world-cow who licked mankind into existence. And in Israel, I was known as Ba'al. I was the golden calf the people worshipped when Moses went up the mountain.
Moses. He had some kind of a beef with golden calves. Still not sure what that was all about. Never had much stake (steak) in Israel after that incident. Still--the point is, we cattle are outstanding in our field. Well, except when we're inside, standing in our stables. You get the picture.
